The Softball Prayer - 6/15/2015


THE SOFTBALL PRAYER:  Dear Lord, as you know I have a softball game at 7:45 tonight.  Currently the car says that it is 91 degrees outside.  I'm just letting You know in advance that I'm on board if You would like to drop the temperature to the low eighties and/or maybe bring in a nice cloud cover.

Deal with It - 6/11/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  I saw this sign at a restaurant that my wife and I ate dinner at on Tuesday and it made me smile.  I am considering saying this comment to anyone who whines or brings up a problem today.  I just can't decide for sure if I want this to be my last day at my job or not.

Carry on,

A Needle in a Haystack - 6/7/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  It is not very often that I wish I was 2 or 4 inches shorter. But when I am at Costco and looking through the huge piles of pants in search of the illusive 34x34, I have had a moment or two.

I think there is a 100:1 ratio of 34x32 and 34x30 to 34x34. It may actually be a much, much higher ratio than needle in a haystack, kind of ratio...but I am trying to remain optimistic.

Peanut Predicament - 5/28/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  So I had this question come into my mind today and I thought I would run it by you all and get your opinion.

So lets say that there is a very large shipment of peanuts that have been stolen.  There is a lot of public pressure and a huge outcry about this because...well...people like peanuts for heavens sake.  And all of this pressure and outcry is driving the police nu...I mean...crazy.

Not in Kansas Anymore - 5/27/2015

TotoRANDOM THOUGHTS:  And this is how my mind works. I use that term loosely.

While visiting the restroom on the way out of my doctor appt this morning, I saw this brand name on the toilet.  Without missing a beat, in my head, I heard, Dorothy, from The Wizard of Oz, say, "Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."

Flirting With Death – 5/4/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  An actual conversation with my wife, Denice, first things last Sunday morning​.

My Wife:  Tapping my "ring-less" wedding ring finger. (I don't wear my ring when I play softball, which I had done the day before.  I do not do this to be a "player" but to protect my ring from the bat.)

Me:  I like that tapping thing you are doing on my finger.

My Wife:  You are in big trouble mister!

Me:  Why would I be in trouble?  (innocent blinking going on)

Angry Legs - 4/15/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  My legs are not happy with me today.  They are saying mean and painful things to me, letting me know that they do not appreciate that I sprinted around the bases on Monday night.  (to circumvent any future comments from my fellow softball warriors: YES, I was actually sprinting AND I already have unhooked the trailer)  Anyway, if my legs were like lizard tails, I believe they would break off in revolt today and I would have to grow new ones.  Just saying.

Carry on,

ENT Flattery - 3/4/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  So I just got done with am appt with my ENT doctor.  The last couple months, I have been being treated for some irritation going on in my throat.

 After running a camera on a hose through my nose and down into my throat, he said, "That looks really good, that looks so much better, you have the throat of a 16 year old."

All the flattery talk may have made me blush a little but I tethered my big floating head back to earth by reminding myself that he did not make any such statement about my face. But still, nice words from an ENT.

A Chip on My Shoulder - 2/19/2015

dave_chip_on_shoulderRANDOM THOUGHTS:  For those of you that have ever told me that I have a chip on my shoulder and I said I did not...I owe you an apology.  Today, I checked and I, in fact, do have a chip on my shoulder.  To make things worse, it is jalapeño which helps explain my hot and spicy attitude. Today...I am humbled.

Carry on,

Zen Sin - 2/4/2015

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  I am going to have to watch myself pretty closely today.  On my way back to my desk, I saw someone's cube desk area that had one of those Zen sand gardens with the little rocks and tools to bring you relaxation.  I thought it looked pretty cool but then something happened in my head.


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