humor

Really...Fork Again? - 2/11/2014

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  Why does it always have to be a fork in the road anyway?  Why not a knife, spoon or even a sweet pair of scissors?  Or why not a can opener, cork screw or that cool thing that takes the corn off the cob for you?  Or maybe a popcorn maker, crock-pot or even the whole kitchen sink for that matter?  A fair compromise would be, at a minimum, a spork or even a spife.  COME ON LIFE...mix it up a little.  Lose the fork and quit being so predictable.

A Brazilian - 2/8/2014

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  My daughter Shelby just told me that fifteen minutes of shivering will burn as much fat as an hour of cardio.  I told her she should just go lay in the snow in the front yard this morning instead of working out then.  She agreed but did not do it.  You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink...kind of thing.

Running with the Kids - 1/28/2014

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  Over the weekend, I saw a strange thing...yes, even for me.  As I stopped my truck at a 4-way stop, to my left, three young men in beanies and full winter running gear came running up to the corner, turned and continued on.  Nothing strange about that.  The strange part was what was following these three young men.

Sacrilegious - 2013

RANDOM THOUGHT:  "Sacrilegious" are the people who pack and bring their lunch to church with them. You will know them right away. They are the ones in the 3rd row with a banana, apple or orange, half a sandwich and a box of juice with a little straw stuck in the top. They are the ones prepared for a long, long, sermon...David Wood

"Member" That! - 11/19/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  When I was at my daughter, Marilynn 's house a few days ago, she came in and was talking to someone and said, "member?" and then immediately corrected herself saying, "RE-member?"  I laughed because I do exactly the same thing and told her so. Then I struck up a conversation about that maybe, just maybe...if we look at it from a slightly different perspective and change the angle just a smidge, "member" may actually in fact be...the right word the first time.  

Minute Thoughts - 10/22/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  So this morning, I was taking care of my dog, Peanut, making tea and getting my lunch together for today.  While I was doing these things I was thinking about various things and while I was thinking about shoe laces, I thought of the saying, "Just a cotton picking minute."  I stopped and wondered what exactly a cotton picking minute was.  Was it longer or shorter or the same as a normal minute?  Was it fluffier than a normal minute and would it shrink more in the laundry?  Could you buy it in all kinds or great colors and did it have an irritating tag sown

Rotisserie Thoughts - 9/14/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  As I was eating a rotisserie chicken for dinner tonight, I had a thought.  I know, I know.  I was thinking that if I was a rotisserie chicken and had given my life to feed someone, I would not want them to waste me.  I would want them to eat every part so my life was not given in vain.  Wasting me would really ruffle my feathers.

~David

Whoa - 9/14/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  So if you are a horse and you are enjoying running at full speed only to be suddenly brought to a stop by your rider...do you think to yourself, "Whoa is me?"  And if you are the rider and you see your horse looking sad, do you say, "What's the matter little feller, why the long face?"

~David

The Naming of Quinoa - 9/11/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  I was thinking about the name "Quinoa" today.  Not because I am having a baby and want a cool, unique name but because I had quinoa and chicken for lunch today.  I was thinking that it is a pretty cool sounding name with lots or personality and pizzazz  but wondered how it came to be call such a thing. 

Staff Meetings - 9/11/2013

RANDOM THOUGHTS:  I was thinking about Moses today.  In my thoughts I wondered if Moses may have had "staff" meetings with his management team.  Or maybe team building stress relief activities like, "Striking the rock" for refreshments or "Parting the water cooler."  ~David Wood
Thoughts...Comments?

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